Saturday, August 8, 2020

Job 42:1-6 -- On Hating Ourselves

"Then Job answered the Lord, and said,
I know that thou canst do every thing, and that no thought can be withholden from thee.
Who is he that hideth counsel without knowledge? therefore have I uttered that I understood not; things too wonderful for me, which I knew not.
Hear, I beseech thee, and I will speak: I will demand of thee, and declare thou unto me.
I have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear: but now mine eye seeth thee.
Wherefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes."
Job 42:1-6


What stood out to me in this selection is the end where Job says "I abhor myself."  I think that this is something we might all feel at times, when we make mistakes, especially big ones, and hurt someone or ruin something, or harm a relationship, or (like Job) just act like we know things when we really, really don't.

Those times are pretty bad, and they can test us mentally.  They are hard to get through because we really do hate ourselves, or at least our own actions and choices, and we don't always see a way to become not-ourselves in order to improve.  I really like that Job shows us the way to overcome that though... he goes to the Lord and tells him everything, including how he feels about himself, and he repents, wanting another chance to do better... and God gives him one.

God can change our hearts, and even if our mistakes are part of us, he can help us become who we want to be rather than who we are.  Perhaps our self-loathing helps us to achieve the humility it takes for real change, and if we come to the Lord in humility, admitting our faults and asking for help, God *will* help us.

Today, if we are hating ourselves even a little bit, let's do as Job did, and go to the Lord with all of it.  He is the one that can help us find a new way forward, and grant us hope in the midst of darkness.

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