"In my distress I cried unto the Lord, and he heard me.
Deliver my soul, O Lord, from lying lips, and from a deceitful tongue.
What shall be given unto thee? or what shall be done unto thee, thou false tongue?
Sharp arrows of the mighty, with coals of juniper.
Woe is me, that I sojourn in Mesech, that I dwell in the tents of Kedar!
My soul hath long dwelt with him that hateth peace.
I am for peace: but when I speak, they are for war."
Psalms 120:1-7
I love the poetry of this. It reminds me of John Donne's Holy Sonnet 14, where he asks the Lord to "batter [his] heart" and force his way in, because he was trying and failing to drop his defences and let him in himself... basically, his reason conflicting with his faith. Here, David expresses a similar emotion... that part of him (in this case his tongue and his lips) are rebelling against what he truly wants.
This echoes back to a scripture we talked about recently, where Christ tells us that if our hand or foot offend us, then cut them off. Not I think telling us to intentionally maim ourselves, but to force us to confront our choices with that alternative in mind. If the alternative is getting rid of our reason, or our tongue and lips, or whatever it is that is within us that is blocking what we say we want... then we have to choose. If we want God, we have to accept him completely, and not hold out. We have to convince our reason... we have to tame our mouths. Sometimes we do have to let go of part of our self-definition, and it can feel like an amputation. God can help us through it, if we truly choose him.
C.S. Lewis explained a similar necessity for choice in his introduction to his book The Great Divorce. He says "I do not think that all who choose wrong roads perish; but their rescue consists in being put back on the right road. A wrong sum can be put right: but only by going back till you find the error and working it afresh from that point, never by simply going on. Evil can be undone, but it cannot "develop" into good. Time does not heal it. . . . It is still "either-or." If we insist on keeping Hell (or even earth) we shall not see Heaven: if we accept Heaven we shall not be able to retain even the smallest and most intimate souvenirs of Hell."
Today, let's cry to the Lord in our distress... and let's be willing to set whatever is holding us back on the altar, offering it to the Lord, either to purify or to consume. In Alma 19 when Lamoni and his household are converted, they explain that their hearts had been changed. They had no more desire to do evil. God does that for us, if we go to him in humility, willing to let go of all of our "souvenirs of Hell." It isn't easy, and it isn't painless, but it is the way to happiness and peace. God will strengthen us, be with us, and protect us as we sincerely choose Him, even over our own body. He will help us be at peace within ourselves if we open our hearts to him and let him change us. Instantly, or little by little, in God's time and not ours... choosing Christ is always the answer.
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